When they land, they screw up everything forever. Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?Ī: Because deep down, they're really good people.Ī: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?Ī: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?Ī: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?Ī: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?Ī: A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?Ī: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure? Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?Ī: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. ![]() Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?Ī: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service. There are some things even a blonde won't do.Ī: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?Ī: I don't know. Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?Ī: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?Ī: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer? Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement? Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? And one to sue the ladder company.Ī: They make used car salesmen look good. Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?Ī: Three, One to climb the ladder. Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?Ī: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.Ī: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.Ī: Only three. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?Ī: They both look good hanging from a tree. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?Ī: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?Ī: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline. ![]() Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?Ī: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?Ī: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. Q: What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?Ī: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight. Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?Ī: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside. Q: What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?Ī: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on. ![]() Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50 Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100? Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? How come the government never does anything like So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 ![]() But we're talking about lawyers.ĭairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the WARNING: Some of these jokes are in bad taste. Lawyer Jokes - The Good, the Bad and the Dirty Lawyer
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